For a while I have wondered if this was it- if my life was what I was experiencing x how ever many years I would live- it was kinda depro….
What my soul wanted and what I was doing did not match, There was something missing that I had tried to figure out but came up empty, at one stage I even thought of being a chiropractor….pops has said he would put up the money, but I then realized I am such a chicken, I am so scared to take risks, so scared that my lifestyle changes, so scared to fail and that was the lightbulb. With passion, support , a little inspiration and the acknowledgement that fear is something that can smother you – you can break free and do what you want to do.
Watch this space…my website is almost done and this placeholder page will be replaced with a fingers crossed- wish me luck- smile and my webby 🙂
Thanks to all those that helped- you either know you did , or you sparked something in me.
Do you have a truffle for me?
OMG- if you are prone to depro behaviour- do not try this at home.
I was looking through pics on the lappy and I saw how fat I have gotten. This, paired with the number the nurse said when I had to get weighed for my ganglion operation, has made me realize that I am fat- no matter how I have been selling to myself, my clothes don’t fit and I look gross and shan’t be parading in a bather this summer.
I shall be sunbedding and mandatory beach days will have me in a loose fitting boob tube and my bikini bottoms. Paired with meal replacement shakes, daily walk/runs and the complete banishment of carbs and juice, and perhaps even a visit to “ how to be a bulimic /anno’ websites.
NOTE TO SELF: OMG pigleeto, how did you let this happen.
For those frowning: I have a weight issue- so no matter how I look- it will be my crazy.
I think this is the reason Bim does not understand me…..perhaps I am not clear…..
FAT? Let them wear dresses!
It has dawned on me…you don’t get a muffin top if you don’t wear pants….LIGHTBULB
Dresses- a nice dress with belly skimming cut- nipped at the tight places, covering the arm tops , cutting the leg at the thinnest point.
They are airy, nice for summer and will hide all the extras that winter forced you to inhale via your mouth. Paired with a cute pump or mini heel, add a cute short sleeve cardi and you are good to go baby.
Happy dress hunting peeps.
TIP: Try vintage shops or the row of stores in Kalk Bay, Biscuit Mill-, Long Street- all local designers that make uber pretty things. ( NOT YDE- you will not fit into anything)
ALSO- if you must- try the chain stores….at least you will be able to identify fellow fatties at La Med- or torment yourself when the skinny bitches look way better 🙂
NEXT TIME: LA Med- what is the f**ing attraction?
This word breaking is too much for me…do you see it….like we didn’t have trouble pronouncing it already!
Oooooops! Or do you not see it?
This is a fresh cup-I usually only struggle drinking the 1st cup of the day
There are some things that people do that freak me out- like touching food that others have to eat with your hands ( Andrea!!!!!), but other things like using bf’s toothbrush and removing budgie’s poo from surfaces are just natural to me.
For those with a weak gag reflex, stop reading now.
I always drink coffee in he morning, but only ever have like 3 sips and then tap out. When I get home- I then reheat and drink- fast, no hassle waiting for the kettle to boil- like instant, instant coffee, or being at a coffee shop….I think the most has been like a 8pm coffee off a morning one, I don’t think I have ever let it sit longer than that!
Tea is a bit more gross- I would not recommend that, but coffee takes on creamy fullness when reheated after a good 10 hour sit.
In true OCD fashion- I am now obsessing about the study…..
- Concrete black and white striped floor
- A long floating desk
- Tall skirting
- One naff door
- Ex –cottage pane windows
- Vintage in-tray, stationery holder and letter hold found at ‘ moving to uk’ house sale about a year ago
- Curtains ( am going without blinds- I want a glam office)
- Cute laser cut bookends ( actually recipe book like holders that I am repurposing)
- Stunning aluminium imac
- Super cool light fitting ( saw acid green yellow one at Vamp as seen at http://www.superduper.co.za) ( look at bottom right pic)
- Cool desk light ( like Recreate’s milk bottle ones, or like a Pixar logo type thing)
Light by Recreate
- Cool office chair ( saw uber cool red swivel chair coricraft) or ghost chair or candy floss pink plastic one
- Old metal filing cabinet, which I will paint. ( similar to one at Vamp- but I want bigger draws to shove my crap into)
as seen on Vamp blog
- Funky off cut round rug ( shop is called AHSBDFoihsatgdlkhga’oigh) some strange name I will attempt to google shortly.
- Nude pic of myself ( kidding) thinking a narrow and long landscape to make like a window-feel.
- A window box ( am deciding against it) I want a chaise lounge covered in Design Team rabbit or fan fabric ( OMG- don’t go to their site, you will not be able to shop anywhere else after seeing their stuff)
- New door
- To seal the floor
- To install floating shelves of sorts
We have a carcass- floor, and walls….roughly 3 x 6 metres- I think this schedule is fine, if builders were woman, this would be normal.
Day 1-2 : roof and window installation
Day 3: brick up two holes and install door, sink , washing machine and dish washer plumbing to be done
Day 4: remove old ‘ external ‘ wall and current internal wall, build up where necessary
Day 5: Ceiling and electrics- long narrow window installed in old kitchen section
Week 2 :
Day 1: Screed walls/ plaster walls inside and out.
Day 2: decide placement of counter and cupboards- complete kitchen brief, cupboard sizing to order. ( this should take two weeks to make)
Day 3 : install carcass where possible for cupboards ( standard measurements)
Day 4: install eye level oven and hob
Day 5: Finish off all items of the above that are not complete.
I realize the kitchen is not complete yet….the next schedule will cover that.
I realize I also need to get my ass into gear and buy the stuff the builder folk need to do all this. Am so uber excited. Have to decide on flooring now……concrete……laminate, belgotex make a nice ‘novilon’ type thing. I don’t do tiles.
Bim and his work cronies laughed at me schedule….
Well, as none of my lectures this year will be my last- the sad and moving music is not playing in my head- there is actually no emotional connection to this, so will try to make it my own.
Things I will miss about this year: ( I am probably forgetting some!)
- Marian Pike- without you this year, I would have chewed through my wrists, in my head, about 100000000 more times than I did.
- I will probably not see my two new friends and one old friend that often anymore
- The mini work out up the stairs to media lectures
- The enthusiastic way that Deidre speaks- it has made me realise that if you do not majorly heart what you do….you will suck.
- The memories that my 2010 CPUT experience reminded me of my 2003-2005 CPUT experience
- laughing while people have to catch up on a years worth of tweets
All in all, three majors almost done for the BTECH Public Relations Management. Two more subjects to go…..but that is another debate….I have a career change to master kids.